This past weekend I got to spend time with a super awesome girl named Jessica.
She’s beautiful, sassy, and hilarious, and to say she was boy crazy would be a huge understatement.
Thankfully, our boys are very good sports.
Jessica’s methods of getting the guys are quite different from mine. However, my best estimate is that she has had at least 4 boyfriends in the past year, which far surpasses my zero boyfriends in the past 6 years.
So I thought that maybe I could take some advice from her. I’ve compiled a list of love lessons I learned this past weekend.
Who knows, they might come in handy.
1. If you’re interested in someone, it’s not important to know their name. You can immediately start referring to them only as “boyfriend.”
2. There’s no need to wait until the right time to say “I love you.” You can tell someone you love them the day first day that you meet.
3. It’s okay to be interested in two boys at the same time. Even if they know each other. Even if they are brothers.
4. Use being interested in two boys at once to be nonchalant when one turns you down. You can simply say, “I don’t love you anymore, now I love your brother (or friend, etc).”
5. Be honest about cheating. It’s not good to keep it a secret, but always include an apology.
6. Boys love it when you write and record love songs for them. You can even write one love song for multiple boys.
7. Fight for the guy you’re interested in. Don’t let another girl get in the way.
8. Sometimes it’s necessary to (literally) get on your knees and beg someone to take you back.
9. If your guy says he needs time to think about your relationship, don’t be patient. Keep asking him every time you’re around him.
10. It’s okay to like older guys.
11. …or younger.
12. Share you candy with the boys you’re interested in.
13. Tell the boys you like how hot they are.
14. More specifically, it’s good to tell them how hot they are while doing something they’re good at. (Example: “You’re hot playing the drums/guitar/etc.”)
15. Always tell your guy goodnight.
16. Make a normal hug better by refusing to let go.
17. Come up with excuses to walk by the guy you like. Each time you do this make some kind of physical contact.
18. Grab his hand or arm when you’re walking together.
19. Ask for his opinion on things like a new hairstyle.
20. Finally, just be extremely bold and persistent.
In return for observing her approach all weekend, I offered her two pieces of my own approach:
1. It’s probably not a good idea to cheat on your boyfriends.
2. The art of Facebook creeping.
The first she ignored, the second she was a fan of.
I don’t know if I’ll be able to follow her method. It’s not exactly my style. Something tells me that I’ll never catch up to Jessica in boyfriend count, and that’s really okay. But maybe I’ll need to use (tiny pieces) of her approach someday. I can’t dismiss it completely unless I give it a shot.