On Encouraging Good Behavior.

I’ve written a few posts in the past about how boys do things wrong (example: Public Service Announcement), but I’m not going to lie, I have a few guy friends who know a whole lot about how to do things right.

Now I’m not saying that they are super awesome at being in relationships and everything that goes along with that situation, because I really don’t know them in that context, but they are super good at being guy friends,  & even gentleman, or, you know, something like that.

They are good about realizing you need help even when you don’t ask them for it. They are good about being willing to help in whatever way you need them too.  & they are good about not complaining.

I was in charge of an event this weekend, and without the several guys who helped me out, it would have taken me about twice as long to get everything done.

It’s not that girls’ help isn’t as good, because my fabulous roommates also helped me crazy big amount, but guys make things go a lot faster.  & they make things happen with out any drama being involved, which isn’t always a guarantee with females.

I am super appreciative of what my guy friends do for me, but sometimes I don’t think girls know how to react to guys acting, supporting, and serving like they should.

There are usually three ways in which girls react to guys doing things for them::

1. They expect it. (Maybe too much.)

I will agree that guys should be willing to help girls and support them, but I don’t think it’s fair to expect too much.  The biggest problem that seems to go along with this reaction is that these girls don’t act appreciative.  Ladies, you can’t expect a guy to do things for you when you never say thank you or do anything for him.  It just doesn’t make sense.

This can also turn into girls forcing guys to do things for them.  Why is that a good idea? It’s not.  Somebody doing something for you just doesn’t seem to mean as much when you give them no choice.

2. They don’t want it.

The opposite reaction is girls who don’t want guys to help them at all.  I’ve seen girls tell guys no when they offer to take their plate or hold the door for them.  Seriously? I know you can do it yourself, but why would you say no when someone is trying to do something nice for you? You don’t need to feel guilty when they want to do it.

For instance, I could have totally done all of the set-up and cooking for the event this weekend by myself.  But without help it would have taken a lot longer and would have been a lot less fun.  My need to be independent is not strong enough to deny people the right to help me.  Get over yourself.

3. Encourage Good Behavior.

This is my motto when it comes to this topic: Don’t demand help, don’t deny help, just encourage good behavior when help is given to you.  When you are either friends with a guy or dating a guy who is good enough and nice enough to offer to help you or do things for you, let him.  & then subtly encourage him to do it again.

This may include, but is not limited to: always saying thank you and doing it often, doing nice things for them in return, and/or giving rewards.

I’m not saying this to make it sounds like I’m training my guy friends like dogs, because that’s seriously not what I’m doing.  I just want them to know that I appreciate them and what they do.  Because that’s really important.

So if any of my guy friends are reading this by some chance, or if you are just a guy who is awesome too, keep it up.  Somebody appreciates you a whole lot.  & I hope it will pay off for you, because that’s what you deserve.

& ladies, be sure to tell the good guys in your life how much you appreciate them.  I feel like the number of guys out there who are good examples of this is dwindling. Let’s do our best to keep that from happening.


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