When I Get Married…

…I could finish that sentence in about a million different ways.

Most of them would probably be incorrect assumptions about my future life seeing that I don’t know if, when, or to whom I’m going to get married.

& I could come up with a ton of statements about what I will and will not do with or to my future husband, but most of them, I admit, would be subject to change (due to that fact that I know absolutely nothing about actually being married).

However, I can finish that sentence in one way that will definitely not change. Ever.

“When I get married, I will never combine my facebook with my husband’s.”

(I do realize that facebook will probably be obsolete by the time I get married.  But nevertheless, I hate when other couples do this. It’s about principle.  & just doing what makes sense.)

First of all, I must point out the obvious:: A facebook profile is meant for one person. & only one.

-If it was made for two people, you wouldn’t have to make up some weird hybrid name like JackandJill Smith in order to share.  In case you were confused, this doesn’t make you look all cute and lovey, it just makes you seem like you had some weird celebrity and/or ghetto parent that couldn’t pick just one name for their baby.

-Also, if it was made for two people you would be able to post that you are a man and a woman.  (Not pick one and look like a tranny or leave it blank and look suspicious.)

-You would also be able to say that you are married without it looking like conjoined twins are married to the same person or something creepy like that.

-& you would be able to list two different birthdays.  It’s pretty unlikely that you were born on the same day, month, and year, and then just happened to fall in love.

-& you would be able to still tag people separately.  (I can’t be the only one who gets real confused when one person is tagged as two.)

-Plus, it’s pretty much impossible for two people to have the same interests.  Even if you are married, there has to be a little variety.

-& I don’t think I know any couples that have the exact same job.  You usually need some sort of break from one another. Even I can’t handle being around my favorite people for too long…

I know, I know.  You may say, “But we don’t want to keep anything from each other” or some weird cutesy crap that I don’t commiserate with because I’m not married.

I understand the whole trust thing.  But can’t you just give each other your passwords? I had to do that with my mom in high school.  It wasn’t awesome, but there weren’t any problems.  Surely this could work for married couples too.

& not to be all pessimistic, but if you want to hide something from your spouse, you can do it even if you do share the same facebook.

Plus it’d be super awkward if you got divorced.  Yep. Pretty sure you wouldn’t have all the same friends anymore…

So take my advice, facebook users of the world:: Keep your facebook for yourself.  You can share plenty of other things with you spouse, but not that.

And don’t forget this, either.


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