Why Surgery is Still Better than Class.

As some of you may have heard, my spring break will be spent by having surgery.  Instead of focusing on the fact that I will be stuck at my house for most of the week, I am trying to look at the bright side here.  The fact is, no matter how you look at it, surgery is still better than class.

I have compiled a list of reasons:

1. While professors don’t like it when you fall asleep in class, the doctors actually want you to fall asleep during surgery.  They even give you medicine to make you fall asleep.  Also, no one will make fun of you or laugh when you wake up.

2.  While it doesn’t look very good to show up for class wearing pajamas and no make-up, it is perfectly okay to show up to surgery this way.  They even tell you to wear comfortable clothes and don’t allow you to wear make-up.

3.  While you can fail a class or fail a test, you can’t fail at surgery.  Anything that goes wrong is not your fault.  You can’t be blamed or punished for mistakes during surgery, and your GPA will not be affected.

4.  While it is possible to get scars from class, they are usually emotional scars.  You get physical scars from surgery.  Physical scars are much better than emotional ones.  You can show people your physical scars and they will either have sympathy for you or think you are cool. (example: Madeline)

5.  You cannot become famous by sitting in class.  However, it is possible to become famous if you say and do funny things after waking up from surgery.  Unfortunately, these things must be videoed and posted on youtube in order to gain fame. (ex: David, Unicorn girl)

6.  When you feel bad after class, nobody really cares because they feel bad from class too.  When you feel bad after surgery, people want to do nice things for you.

7.  When you take a nap after class, you may feel guilty for missing events or not doing homework.  You do not feel guilty for sleeping after having surgery.

8. While you are forced to eat cafeteria food on class days, you can eat whatever you feel like eating after having surgery.

9.  You cannot lose weight by sitting in class.  You can, however, lose weight by having organs removed.  (Even if a gallbladder only weighs 2 ounces…)

10. Most importantly, you don’t have to think during surgery.  You have to think during class, but being cut open requires no mental work.

This wasn’t extremely hard to come up with, but I may change my opinion after actually having the surgery.  All I can say is that after my test yesterday, I’d rather have surgery than organic chemistry any day..

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