I am not planning on dying anytime soon, but you never know about these things. Since it could happen at anytime, here are a few requests:
1. In the event that I perish, somebody, anybody, needs to delete my facebook page. (note: my password is located in my crackberry. I give permission to whoever has it in their possession to invade my privacy.)
2. In the case that you fail, and my facebook page still exists after I die, please do not write on my facebook wall. You can celebrate my life in other ways. It is weird to write messages to a dead person. I will be in heaven and will not receive them anyways.
3. If my facebook is deleted, do not make a page for me. I do not need all of my facebook friends to “like” me. Nope. Again, I will be dead and will not need your likes to boost my self-esteem.
4. If you fail once again, and there is a page made for me, do not update the page. I have seen facebook pages for dead people where they make updates. Everyone knows dead people can’t update facebook. This is just creepy and weird.
5. Also, if a page is made, apply number 2.
6. I give you permission to talk about me, laugh at me, do whatever you want. Just don’t put it on facebook. While facebook is officially open to everyone, I don’t think dead people should be included.
7. If facebook does not exist when I die, apply these instructions to the current social network of choice.
This is not meant to be offensive, I am just expressing my wishes. One day I will put this in my will.