note: Some of this is serious, and some is not so serious. Most of this stems from frustration myself and a friend have experienced lately. Don’t assume it applies to you, but don’t assume it doesn’t.
We do love you, we promise. However, there are a few things we would like for you to know.
1. Just because a girl speaks you to or invites you to an group event, it does not mean that she wants to date you. Also, if a girl looks at you, she is not necessarily checking out your bod. Furthermore, complements are not expressions of adoration. Sometimes we just want to encourage good behavior or boost your all important ego.
2. Just because we were kind enough to give you our phone number or accept your facebook friend request, it does not give you the right to constantly text, call, facebook message, or chat us. This especially does not give you the right to do these things in the middle of the night or early in the morning. If we really want to talk to you, we will.
3. It is not okay to discuss serious matters through these modes of communication. If you would like to profess your undying love, ask us on a date, or define the relationship, please do it in person. This allows less awkwardness and fewer misunderstandings.
4. We would like for you to take advantage of this time in your lives where you are not committed to a wife. This gives you the ideal opportunity to discuss your problems, plans, worries, and girl issues with your guy friends. It’s not that we don’t care about these things, it’s that discussing them with you takes the relationship to a place where we might not want it to go.
5. This also includes praying with us. It’s not that we won’t pray for you, it’s that praying together is intimate. We are not looking for intimacy with you if we are not even dating.
6. If you are not in a relationship with a girl on Valentine’s day, do not expect that she wants a gift from you. Giving a gift may not be appreciated, and may add a level of awkwardness to the relationship.
7. If you are interested in a girl and are unsure if your feelings are returned, just tell her you are interested. Doing this will result in one of two situations. One is that she may feel the same way for you. Then you will be able to begin a wonderful relationship. Two is that she does not feel the same about you. While this is unfortunate, telling her gives her the opportunity to tell and disappoint you now. This will save you a lot of time and effort, and you will be able to move on with your friendship.
8. On the other hand, if you are not interested in a girl, and think she may be interested in you, make it clear to her that you only want to be friends. It is not polite to lead a girl on for long periods of time. She will only get annoyed with you when nothing works out. This may eventually ruin your friendship.
9. Be clear in your intentions. Communication is good. Communication in person if better. Period.
10. If for whatever reason, we inform you that we do not have feelings for you, or terminate an existing relationship with you, please do your best to understand. Do not blame your depression on us. Do not try to guilt us into dating you or taking you back. Do you really want that to be the reason we’re with you? No.
11. If your girlfriend works really hard on something for you, appreciate it. Even if you don’t like it, you should be able to appreciate the effort she put into pleasing you. We’re not asking you to lie, just to consider how much work we put into something.
12. Dating means doing stuff. It does not mean sitting at your house and watching TV. We do not just want to do things that we could do by ourselves. We want to spend time with you, but we also want to experience things with you and get to know you better.
13. Do not use the Bible to manipulate us. Also, do not blame God if you do not want to date us. Just say you aren’t interested.
14. Do not tell a girl that you are going to marry her before you have a relationship, or even at the beginning of a relationship. Even if you really believe this, the girl may not feel the same way. To her, it may seem that you are using God to make her like you. This is not a good plan.
15. Just because you are dating a girl, it does not mean that she can’t be friends with other guys. Don’t assume that she’s interested in them, if she’s dating you, she’s not.
16. Just because you are dating a girl, you don’t have to talk to her on the phone for hours everyday. You don’t have to constantly text her. She’s thinking about you anyways, and she’s not going to forget who you are.
17. Do not push a girl to go further than she wants to go. Set boundaries before you get to that point. As awkward as it may be to talk about it, it will be worth it in the end. This can save you a lot of confusion and frustration.
18. Do not give us promise rings. If it’s that serious, just ask us to marry you.
19. Do not force a girl to be the initiator in a relationship by not pursuing her. That is not the way a relationship is supposed to be, and you don’t want it to be that way anyways. If you like a girl, and you are ready for a relationship, you need to initiate it.
20. If you want a Godly wife one day, strive to be the kind of Godly man that will deserve her, be able to lead her, and be her partner. While you are single, focus on making yourself the kind of man that a woman will want to date.
Please take these things into consideration during your day to day lives. We as girls also realize we need to do (and not do) a lot of things. We will work on those things if you will work on these.